I’m not even sure how to say this other than to just do it… to let the words fall from my fingertips and onto my computer screen.
Our season in Guatemala is coming to a close, and our family will be moving back to the states soon.
Putting these words out there is both terrifying and heartbreaking to me. Sharing the news publicly makes it seem real, when all I’ve wanted to do is to stuff the words back inside of me and carry that burden silently, but I know it’s a reality that I not only have to face but also share with others.
July had started out great- we were excited to head back to the states for a much needed break and to see family. We never dreamed that just a week later we would be in the PICU with John who was gravely ill from Covid. As I reflect back on those moments, I have so much to thank God for. When John first became sick and I took him to the ER for respiratory distress, we were sent home with an inhaler and told that everything looked fine (spoiler alert: everything was NOT fine). The next morning, I explained to my husband that if this were one of my patients, I would take him to the ER and demand blood gasses and a chest xray. Bryan suggested that I return, and I knew it was the right thing to do. Thank God I followed both of our instincts… It terrifies me what may have happened to a mother without a medical background who may have not been as persistent. As the medical team rushed him into the huge ER trauma room to stabilize him, they weighed the possibilities of high flow oxygen vs. more aggressive treatments. I immediately felt sick… had we been in Guatemala, he would have needed to be intubated because of the lack of resources where we are. As I watched my brave boy sleep that night, I was overcome with gratitude that we were there in that moment receiving medical treatment that is far more advanced than most areas in the world.
John’s lungs have unfortunately suffered some damage due to this sickness, and his pediatrician has warned us that with any subsequent virus or infection, he will likely get sicker than most kids until his lungs grow and begin to repair themselves. Feeling the crushing weight of reality, it felt somewhat irresponsible to take him back to an area where I regularly work with kids suffering from tuberculosis, pneumonia, and any respiratory virus you can imagine.
However, as difficult as the past two months have been, we have definitely seen God moving and opening (literal!) doors for us. I remember the nauseating feeling of knowing this was our next step but praying “God, if this is truly what You want, You need to make it clear because my faith is small and also because I’m an idiot.” Thankfully, our God is patient and kind. Our offer was accepted on a house in the Harrisonburg, VA area, and I had several job offers to choose from. We are excited about being in Harrisonburg, because it is a very diverse area with a large Spanish-speaking population. In choosing where to work and live, this was incredibly important to us to still be in an environment where we can serve others. In fact, I fully believe that God is not calling us OFF the mission field, but rather to a different mission field that is closer to our family and the appropriate medical care that we hopefully never have to use again. I am a firm believer that nothing is wasted when it comes to serving God, and this new community will allow us to use the gifts God has cultivated within us over these past 7 years.
Knowing those things gives us peace in this season that is so emotionally difficult. We knew our time was limited as our children got older and we needed to begin thinking of their educational futures. (Unfortunately, there aren’t great education options where we are and while I think homeschooling is wonderful, I already know it is NOT for me.) We didn’t anticipate for this moment to be sudden or rushed, but now that it’s playing out that way, I am also glad that it hasn’t been dragging on over the course of several months.
We are leaving Guatemala with our hearts bursting with joy, pride, and satisfaction but also full of sadness, hesitation, and most of all, hope. We are so hopeful for this next season for our family and how we can be planted in a new place, growing new relationships, and bearing new fruit. We are filled with gratitude for all that’s been done over these past 7 years. We won’t miss the scorpions, the parasites, learning new languages, or the heat… but despite the difficulties of living in a developing nation, we would go back and relive the past 7 years in a heartbeat. Thank you for allowing us to be here and serve in the capacity we’ve been able to serve… never once lacking, God has always provided for our family through your generous encouragement and support.
As we close out our time here, will you please pray with us?
+ Pray for our Guatemalan friends and coworkers, we have already had some rough “goodbyes”.
+ Pray for Hope of Life, that they continue to grow and thrive and raise up the perfect people to fill our roles.
+ Pray for packing – it’s too expensive and unreliable to ship anything we own, so we will be leaving with what we can fit into our suitcases. Fortunately, it’s ‘just stuff’ so we are not too attached to the majority of it. However, buying vehicles and furniture etc etc etc seems so overwhelming right now.
+ Pray for ongoing health issues for all of us. This year has been difficult as we’ve faced parasites, covid, and several respiratory viruses. I feel like I’ve been sick almost all of 2022!
+ Pray that we find the right church to plug into. As we’ve said, ministry opportunities are highly important to us in this big change, so pray we are placed in an area that we can serve and grow.
+ Pray, probably most of all, for our hearts. Leaving a place you love and have spent 7 years of your life at is not easy, but we truly are believing in greater things yet to come!
*Several people have suggested a “Housewarming” Registry to help fill some tangible needs. You can find that here: https://smile.amazon.com/registries/custom/2QU78P140N9SS/guest-view
We thank you so very much for the support you’ve shown us over the past 7 years! I sincerely hope you can hear our deepest gratitude in our words. Although we are sad for what we are leaving behind, we look forward to what lies ahead.
Here’s to new beginnings, new ministry opportunities, and all that awaits us.
May we continue to love God and love others in all we do.
You are so loved,
Bryan, Whitney, John, and Flori Saulton
