But God…

saying goodbye

Well, it happened.  I’m not sure if it’s the stress of moving and leaving everything behind, or maybe it’s just the flood of memories that this place holds…  But tonight I ugly cried.  And if I’m being honest, I may or may not still be ugly crying as I write this…

When we moved into this house, we intended to be here for 2 years max.  Once Bryan graduated from culinary school we were going to leave and settle down in West Virginia closer to our families.  But God had different plans.

When we moved here, we planned to find a small church that was similar to our roots at First Baptist Church of Kenova.  But God led us to Lifepoint instead.  When we moved here, we left a lot of great friends behind in WV.  But God gave us great friends here too.  When we moved here 4 1/2 years ago, we were so in love, and didn’t think we could love to a fuller capacity.  But God stretched our heart.  He stretched our heart for each other, He stretched our heart for our families as more members have been added to them over the past few years, He stretched our hearts for Guatemala.  He stretched our hearts for Him.

This little house holds so many precious memories.  It’s the first place we’ve lived since we got married.  We’ve cooked so many meals together in the kitchen.  We’ve had so many friends over, and relationships have deepened inside this house.  We’ve decorated, landscaped, bonfired, and even drug all the blankets outside to stargaze on summer nights.  We’ve danced in the living room while no music has been playing, we’ve restored trust here, we’ve strengthened our marriage here, we’ve had slumber parties with our nieces and nephew here, we’ve loved here.

As we pack up our things, and pile so many things to be sold or given away, I can’t help but to feel emotional.

messy

Oh sweet 26183 Stonesiffer Lane, you will be dearly missed.  I will miss sweeping precious Roster’s hair off your floor.  I will miss having the most incredible neighbors in the world– The Nelson’s were maybe one of our favorite parts of living here.  I will miss trying to spell Stonesiffer to people who have asked for our address.

We’re in the process of rehoming Roster.  I’ve had him for nine years.  I’ve never done life without him.  I don’t think I can write about that anymore without emotional break down # 3 for the night.

The emotional difficulty of this process is nearly enough to make me want to call things off and stay here… Nearly enough for me to say But God, are you SURE about Guatemala?” But God has truly called us there.  There is no doubt in my mind that Guatemala is where we need to go and what we need to do.  This has been confirmed in us more times than we can count.  As we’re down to the wire and in the crunch time before leaving, I am reminded of Paul’s words in 2 Corinthians 4.  It’s so good, you should read the whole thing…  but it ends with him saying “..so we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”

We’re moving to Guatemala to do something eternally significant.  To help save those who are sick and dying (both physically and spiritually), to love orphans, to spread the good news of what Jesus has done in our hearts.  I know that while working in the hospital and rescuing malnourished babies, there won’t always be happy endings.  I know that the loss of “stuff” and closed doors on memories will eventually pale in comparison to the loss we’ll see.  I once loved a baby named Jenri at Hope of Life… but Jenri is no longer there and has been called to heaven where he will be able to walk and sing and he’s now free from  the pain that malnourishment had taken on his tiny body.

Sweet 2 year old Jenri
Sweet 2 year old Jenri

We’re leaving a lot behind to serve where we’ve been called to.  Many people don’t understand and think we’re crazy,  But God will provide for us while we’re there, too.

Ephesians 3:14-21

For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

I pray that while we embark on this journey that we keep our eyes fixated on Christ- who called us to this, who equipped us for this, and who will sustain us while we are there. I pray that we are rooted and established in love, and that His love overflows into the work that we do. I pray Isaiah 58:6-11 over us and that we will always be reminded of what God has done to get us here and that he “will satisfy our needs in a sun scorched land.” Our fear of stepping out into the unknown is great, But God is greater.

You are loved… Even during my ugly cry moments.
-Whitney

Published by

Bryan & Whitney Saulton

Our #HighlighterYellowJesus on our call to full time ministry in Guatemala. #sendthesaultons

12 thoughts on “But God…”

  1. Oh Whit! There’s nothing I could say that can comfort you beyond what you already know. But as your friend I want to! I know all too well the emotional roller coaster of packing up and leaving everything you know behind. Reading this post brought back so many memories and feelings.

    And while our destinations are very different, our God is the same. I can tell you that on the other end of this leap are so many more amazing times you’ll see and feel Him at work.

    I wish I was there to ugly cry with you. To pack boxes and talk about all our memories at Stonesiffer Lane. That house was another home for us. I tear up just thinking about going “home” to Virginia and not walking into your house like it’s mine (and sitting on the couch watching TV before you even get there!) But where ever you are will always be another home for us. Because it’s not where but who that makes it home.

    We can’t wait to #SEEthesaultons in Guatemala! And we can’t wait to see how beautifully God works through you there.

    We love you. We pray for you. We miss you.

  2. Whitney I am truly blessed to call you a friend. You have a huge heart. God is going to bless you and Brian tremendously. Following God’s will is not easy but is where he wants you to be.I am praying for you.

  3. Hug. You are making a difference our life is not our own but use for God and He does amazing thing for those open and willing (like yall ). I am excited for you knowing that God restores what we “give up” for Him.

  4. Praying for you guys! May you feel God’s comfort and presence as you walk where He is leading you. Bless you!

  5. Whitney, I am now ugly crying too…in the most beautiful way. Saying goodbye is never, ever easy….here or there. Love you girl, and don’t be surprised if I show up on your doorstep one day.

  6. Love your hearts and your story and this journey God is taking you on. Thank you for both being obedient and for sharing along the way <3 Can't wait to see what He has in store in this next chapter!

  7. Beautifully written Whitney! I can’t even begin to fathom the torn emotions you are going through right now. My heart breaks for you but is overjoyed at the same time because I KNOW what a blessing you & Bryan both will be to all those who you encounter in Guatemala! Love you guys and continuing to pray for your journey!

  8. God bless you and your commitment to be obedient. Leaving is the hardest. This brings back much heartache as my own left and took my grand babies in tow. But watching the Lord move could not be denied. Witnessing first hand the change in the children that God sent my children to parent is nothing short of miraculous. I asked the Lord many times why my children, when we were so close. His reply every time was, It wouldn’t have been a miracle otherwise. So His plan all along was to also show not only my children but to do a work in those left behind as well. Many that were close to us and those not so close have witnessed the work in all involved and know that the God we serve is a mighty God. From this point on you both are stepping into the hand of God and he will be your strength. He will show you favor for your faith and obedience. The road has been forged and the two of you will bring great beauty to the ashes in Guatemala.
    Love and hugs
    The Hurlocks

  9. I wish you all the best Whitney! I truly believe this is your calling.. And you will be of great service to those in need.. God bless you and your husband and good luck!

  10. Dearest Whitney,
    As I write this I have goosebumps on my arms…I wish I had an amazing memory to share with you of us, so that you could take that with you on this amazing new journey God has for both of you…but until several days ago, I knew you just as “Justin and Anthony’s little sister,” and probably would have been content with that family acquaintance friendship…
    But God definitely has different plans for the part you will play in this story for not only me, but also an expansion of your already amazing story!
    I know it was not a coincidence that we connected recently…and it wasn’t a coincidence that last night Philip and I went to our church’s Outreach Kickoff dinner for 2016- which is for anyone who felt the calling to participate in 2015 with not only their local outreach program here in Omaha…but also the international Outreach mission trips…which I have felt has been placed in my heart months ago…but at the time saw it as a fleeting thought..due to many circumstances in my life that seemed wouldn’t allow me to fulfil that desire to travel abroad to help those who need God’s love (which I feel I have also been called to bring) desperately!
    When we spoke and you shared your testimony with me…I felt the Holy Spirit move within so strongly that I couldn’t do anything else but cry tears of joy…and what an amazing feeling! I want you to know what an impact you have had on my life just in these last few days…more of an impact than I’ve had from friendships I’ve had for many years! Thank you! I can see Our Loving Father using you as His messanger to me..almost as if He is whispering directly in my ear…comforting my heart and soul with His Peace…you are such an inspiration and I look forward to the day when I can share my new journey that He leads me to with you…as you have done for me..
    God Bless you both and may He continue to show you His favor…
    “He said to then, “Assuredly, I say to you, there is no one who has left house or parents or brothers or wife or children, for the sake of the kingdom of God, who shall not receive many times more in this present time, and in the age to come eternal life.”- Luke 18:29-30

  11. This is amazing. Makes me want to cry. I know God has amazing plans for you and your husband here in Guatemala. And I’m very happy to know that wonderful people will become part of the Hope of Life family! God bless you guys greatly! And may he use your lives as lights to guide and to save everywhere you go!

  12. Whitney,
    I am so excited to see the journey God has you on unfold. I miss you so much and think of you all the time. It’s been a long time since we have spoken and I have even asked a few people for your number but wasn’t able to get it. We used to be Facebook friends, but I guess you don’t have it anymore? Granted this was all before you left for Guatemala :). I still consider you a dear, sweet friend and cherish all the sweet memories we have made! I am so happy to see you guys following God’s will. I just know you will be blessed beyond belief! You are such a sweet soul/spirit and I am not surprised those sweet babies/kiddos are so excited to see you! I love you friend and I hope we get in touch w/ each other soon! I can’t wait to read for more updates! I will be praying for you guys! <3 P.S. I went to MAC the other day and was reminded of all the eye shadows you sold me 😉 You are still one of my favorite people ever!

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