Be Still

“JUST… BE… STILL.” I loudly whispered at the squirming baby who was covered ankles to ears in his own poop.  I was somewhere between wanting to laugh and wanting to cry as we moved around in the dark getting cleaned up and trying not to wake up Bryan.  However, as the word “still” left my mouth, I realized that the words I spoke to my baby were the very same words that God wanted to speak to me.

We came back to the states a whole month early due to the passing of Bryan’s grandmother.  It was a loss that wasn’t entirely unexpected due to her failing health, but painful nevertheless.  Mawmaw embodied what people love about West Virginians– she was a homebody who loved God, loved her family, and always had a meal spread out on the table when you’d come to visit.  She will surely be missed, but we are thankful for the hope we have knowing she is whole again at Jesus’ feet.  We were fortunate to be with family during this time, and bringing a new baby to meet everyone was a welcomed happiness.

As things began to settle, we looked at our options.  We could return to Guatemala for 3 weeks (which would mean paying lots of $$ and doing two additional flights- there and back- with a baby) or we could stay stateside a full two months.  While we love seeing family, it is so incredibly difficult to be away from home and away from work for so long… but it was what made the most sense.  Especially during a time such as this, we wanted more time with family.

However, on week #2 of being here, I started to become restless.  Through my prayers, the words “Be. Still.” kept reverberating in my head.  Obviously, Psalm 46:10 came to mind.  In my restlessness and difficulty giving up control, I had to learn to be still.  To be in the moment.  To appreciate sweet moments with family rather than to stress about what I was ‘missing out’ on in Guate.  Many of our patients will come and go, babies will grow and be discharged home, families will be discharged from our program, and everything will be different by the time we return, but John will only be this little once and we will do our best to enjoy our unexpectedly extended summer here in the states.  But I know God will use this time, too.

This is the price to pay when your heart has two homes.  It’s difficult being here, difficult being there…  but somehow in the middle of all of that, we have double the amount of people to love.  And for that reason, I can learn be still and enjoy where we’re at today.

You are loved.
-Whitney

John enjoying life in the states:

A few of the faces we anxiously wait to return home to: